I Found Out I was The Other Woman!

Have mercy!

This week I was in Lowe’s minding my own business, by the birdseed, when I started up a conversation with a man over corn for squirrels. Etc.

He was cute although a little rough around the edges ~ but what should one expect in Lowes right? I was just being my friendly self, for I never meet a stranger and I love to help and talk to people where ever I go. Then I walked on and as I passed by him again, he asked me if I was married (NO)…..then he asked for my phone number.

Well, against my better judgement, I gave him my card, after all he was cute and I haven’t been on a date in over 2 years, so….hmmmmn. I said maybe, then gave him my card. He said he would call me and we would do dinner some time. I said we will see.

The next evening, I got a call. I bumbled the whole thing, thinking it was another friend, and well, after I got it straightened all out. He asked me if I wanted to come over.

I replied; that I didn’t go to a man’s house at night of someone I don’t even know!

He backed out saying, he was gonna buy me dinner and  hrump…hrump….he understood of course. I said perhaps we could get to know each other over the phone for a while…..

So I ended the conversation and thought to myself, ‘How am I gonna get out of this one?’

He just wasn’t going to make the cut. He told me on the phone he was on disability, (a word for lazy) he looked fine at Lowes and very capable. He said he was divorced and had two young kids, (i have already raised mine…) He cursed every other word, (not my style). So I was trying to back out of this new guy anyway….

Then late last night at 11:30pm, I got a phone call from a woman asking me, ‘Why I was texting her boyfriend?’

WHAT? ~~~ I was the OTHER WOMAN?

Not gonna happen.

I ended up talking to her and reassured her this was going nowhere and that I was a good Christian woman etc. She had nothing to fear from me, but I recommended she leave him, for no one deserves a lying cheating man!

I told her she deserved better and she started to tear up on the phone. I know she was broken hearted and she was fortunate that she got me on the phone. They had been dating for 3 years. I actually think I helped her to see the truth and calmed her down.

We talked about how we single women need a web-site that only women are allowed to join where after we date a BUM, we can warn other women about him out there on the loose. We laughed that I would be a millionaire over night!

(I think such a web site is needed but illegal, pout Slander and all!)

Well ~ that’s my adventure for this week!

Read it and learn ladies and gentlemen. People are not always who they seem to be ~ use your discernment and err on the side of caution and safety!

The Unknown Dater.



Singles Selfishness


It has come to my attention that many singles, especially those who have lived alone most of their lives, are very self centered people. Oh, Im not saying they are bad people. It’s just that they have not had anyone near to rub off all those rough edges.

You see when you live alone for long periods of time, the only person you have to take care of is yourself. You slowly but gradually become only interested in your own thoughts and opinions, unless you get out a lot and join small groups of some sort. But there are some things that you can ONLY learn, in character building, by living with others.


Yes, what we learned in kindergarden was actually a life long lesson, of sharing. People who learn to live around others are forced to learn to take turns and share, even against their own wants and desires, especially against their own wants and desires.

Have you been brave enough to ask a married person if they think single people are selfish?

I knew a girl one time who lived alone most of her life in her own apartments, and she was totally unaware of her self centered lifestyle. When we would go somewhere together she would just bolt through door-way as if she was the only one walking through it, not using what we all assume are social graces of opening the door for your friends and offering them to go through first ~ well, that’s just the way we do it in the south ~ social graces do still exist here.

One time, I got a new car, and she was so excited she asked if she could drive it. I reluctantly said ok, not realizing how far out there she really was.

4 hours later, after joy riding all over the area with no phone call or cell phone, she came back. No thought of evil intent or doing anything wrong. Just showed up smiling.

In case you are one of those – socially challenged people – with no common sense or social graces – you don’t steal someone’s car for 4 hours! Unless you have been given specific permission to take a road trip ~ and THEN ~ you want to buy them gas and clean their car before you return it.

Come on people!

Ok, so , just saying….. are you unaware of the people around you? Do you care about no one but yourself? Are you in a single selfishness mode?

Perhaps this is why you are single…people get to know you and WAM, their comes Mr. Nasty!

Let’s all work on our character to be the best mates we can be for those we love….

the unknown date

Are there any wholesome sweet girls out there anymore?

IMG_5778Sooooooo…..I have a lot and I mean a LOT of male friends and we talk all the time about different things and we got together to discuss dating the other night. I was so surprised at the comments they made.

So, I thought I would blog about it.

1. They all say ~ girls now-a-days do not like you to be a gentleman , they actually give them weird looks if they call a girl to ask her out, or just stand up for her at the table, etc. They would love to be polite gentlemen, but women don’t like it anymore.

2. They say the only way they have ever gotten a girl to go out with them is to go in groups and just say something like: “Hey, wanna hang out sometime?”

3. The girls they meet are so jaded and bitter, they feel like they have lost the possibility of being in a true honest relationship with someone before they even start.

4. Girls who smoke are a HUGE turn off ~ kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray. YUK!

5. They are all longing for a real Christian wholesome woman, who takes care of herself, not a model, but clean and sweet. Looks are just a perk, for they really want someone who is kind and intelligent. Not so smart she is a know-it-all but someone you may enjoy discussing all sorts of topics with.

6. They are so tired of women acting like they like them then dropping off the face of the earth. No communication and no breaking up. (Just plain chicken and rudeness)

7. They would prefer women to be politely blunt, and just tell them when they approach her and she isn’t interested, something like: “Thank you so much for being interested in me ~ but honestly I am just not that attracted to you in that way….” Be nice but tell the truth. No man likes a liar or a cheat.

8. They even said they can handle a girl with some baggage, not a psycho, but they are willing to help her heal from all the pain of past relationships and love her through it all. (WOW! These are great men)

There are so many men who are what I would call; “Diamonds in the rough.” But who are looking for just a sweet Christian girl. Clean and neat, sweet and nice, pretty and decent. These men are not models from magazines, but they have a fire in them that is wanting to find a real sweet woman they can throw their heart’s into and love forever and ever. They are not ugly and perhaps somewhat a little over weight, but not all are. Some are actually buff. They come from all walks of economic stratus and are truly good faithful men. Christian brothers who are looking for true love and faithfulness.

What does this say about all the women out there looking for love?

Are we too picky? Too Biter? Too scared?

Do we even know a nice romantic polite man when we see one?

Are we so abused and neglected that we can’t even receive love from a nice man anymore?

These men will not grope you on the first date and may actually take a long time to get to know you, cause they are serious about commitment when they find the right girl.

Start being kind and polite and take time to see the man probably sitting right next to you on the church pew. Hoping you will notice him. He is not a wolf and he will not bait you for his own selfish behaviorial  exercises (SEX). These men are genuine and will make some woman the light of their lives.

Just a thought…..

The unknown date

Are You Being Scammed?

It has come to my attention in dating, that too many of my friends are being scammed and do not realize it, so here I go trying to help……for what its worth.

I once was scammed by a man I met online, and since I had just come out of a LONG term marriage and was very abused and deceived, I was a prime target. Lonely people who are looking for love are WAY TOO vulnerable to take any internet dating possibility seriously. This man romanced me better than I had been romanced by my husband in over 20 years, I was so swept up in this man that I found myself telling him things I would never tell a stranger and imagining my life with him abroad. Needless to say, I fell in love with a complete stranger.

(I didn’t know that was how he “marked me”, conned me, by getting my heart involved I would do anything for him.)

TIP #1 – Do not fall in love with someone you have never met and dated for a long time!

it took a couple of months before I started to notice weird things. Like, he always wanted to come see me and made definite plans that got canceled at the last minute. (Again, getting me to long for him.)

He had a sweet daughter that needed a mother,….. (again with my heart strings)

He was a well to do man, but was having a hard season financially, and I well, an American, and they all assume we have money.

Tip #2 – By the way you do not have to have money to get scammed, they can use your credit cards and run them up to the maximum limit and then leave you, in debt!

I fortunately, figured it out, when he emailed me so desperate for money, cause he had just been mugged and had all his money stolen on a trip in Africa, and his passport was gone, etc. Daughter had been hurt and was crying…….

I wised up – just in time – to get my heat broken once again, after so great a loss in my life, and now here I was again.  It really did hurt deeply, and I felt like such a fool and thought I would never find true love. sigh……

So that being said:       

Tip #3 – WISE UP!

Here is the governments advice to keep from getting scammed ~ it really does happen every day!

Hugs from;

The Unknown Date



We receive inquiries every day from people who have been defrauded for hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars by Internet contacts they thought were their friends or loved ones. Internet scams are attempts by con artists to convince you to send them money. These fraudulent schemes can include lotteries, on-line dating services, inheritance notices, work permits/job offers, bank overpayments, or even make it appear that you are helping a friend in trouble. In Nigeria these scams are also referred to as 419 Scams.

Do NOT believe that you have won a lottery you never entered or inherited money from someone you’ve never met or heard of. Do NOT believe any offers (lottery, inheritance, etc.) that require a fee to be paid up front. Do NOT provide personal or financial information to businesses you don’t know or haven’t verified.

In many cases, scammers troll the Internet for victims, and spend weeks or months building a relationship. Once they have gained their victim’s trust, the scammers create a false situation and ask for money. Scammers can be very clever and deceptive, creating sad and believable stories that will make you want to send them money.

Before you send funds, check to see if you recognize any of the following signs, and realize that you may be a potential victim of a scam:

  • You only know your friend or fiancé online and may never have met in person. In some cases, the victim has even believed he or she has married the scammer by proxy.
  • Photographs of the scammer show a very attractive person, and appear to have been taken at a professional modeling agency or photo studio. If they provide you with a copy of their passport or visa, you can always contact the U.S. embassy in the country where the passport or visa was issued to verify the validity of the document.
  • The scammer’s luck is incredibly bad – he/she is in a car crash, or arrested, or mugged, or beaten, or hospitalized. Close family members are dead or unable to assist. Sometimes, the scammer claims to have a young child overseas who is ill or hospitalized.
  • You have sent money for visas or plane tickets but they can’t seem to make it to their destinations, citing detention by immigration officials, or other reasons that prevent them from traveling.
  • Beware of anyone who requests funds for a BTA, or Basic Travel Allowance, as a requirement to depart another country for the United States. There is no such thing as a BTA. In other cases, your Internet friend will claim to need a travel allowance, or travel money, to be able to travel to the United States. Again, there is no such requirement under U.S. law.
  • The scammer claims to have been born and raised in the United States, but uses poor grammar and spelling indicative of a non-native English speaker.
  • Although the scammer may claim to be in Nigeria, he or she may ask that the money be sent to an account in another country. Alternatively, the scammer may state he or she is in a third country but request that funds be sent to the Nigeria.
  • The scammer may even claim to be contacting you from a U.S. Embassy, where your partner, business associate, or friend is being detained pending payment of some type of fee. U.S. embassies do NOT detain people.

Internet scammers are using social networking sites to find victims. The scammers obtain a person’s login information, change his/her profile to make it appear as if the person is in trouble, then contact the person’s friends via those websites asking them to send money to help. To avoid falling victim to such a scam, always be suspicious of anyone asking for money through the Internet, including via social networking sites, and always verify a supposed friend’s circumstances by speaking to him or her directly. ALWAYS protect your online identity by securing your logins and passwords.

Adoption scams are becoming increasingly common. The perpetrators of child adoption fraud often claim to be indigent parents unable to care for a child or members of the clergy working at an orphanage seeking a good home for a child. Americans should be very cautious about sending money or traveling abroad to adopt a child from an orphanage they have only heard about through e-mails. A new twist in the conventional email adoption scam has appeared recently, and this one occurs after the victim discovers that he or she has been fooled by a scam. Once the victim suspects fraud and breaks off communications with the scammers, a new email message will arrive claiming to be from a police agency. These fictitious policemen will offer to recover the victim’s lost money. The scammers will then ask for a “refundable” fee to open the investigation or court files.

All of these scams have one thing in common – they contain requests for money. Sometimes you are asked to pay money to obtain something of value for yourself (e.g. a prize, a romantic relationship, more money); or you are asked to pay money to help a friend in trouble. In every case, however, the ultimate indicator of a scam is that you are always asked to give money.

Con artists can be very creative and very determined. Be skeptical. Do not send anyone money unless you are certain that it is a legitimate request – even if you think you know the person well based on your Internet correspondence. You are unlikely to be able to recover money lost in such scams. For more information, please see the Department of State’s brochure athttp://travel.state.gov/pdf/international_financial_scams_brochure.pdf  (PDF 654KB).

If you believe you are the victim of an Internet scam:

  1. Do not send money. Unfortunately, any money that you might already have sent will probably not be recoverable.
  2. End all communication with the scammer immediately, rather than attempt resolution directly. If you feel threatened, contact your local police at once. Do NOT attempt to personally recover the funds lost. Contact the appropriate authorities to resolve the matter.
  3. Report the matter immediately to The Internet Crime Complaint Center, a partnership among the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), the National White Collar Crime Center (NW3C), and the Bureau of Justice Assistance (BIA), at www.ic3.gov; and, to the Nigerian Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, at (http://www.efccnigeria.org/
  4. If the scam originated through a particular website, notify the administrators of that website. 


Christmas season is often a very hard season for single people and for those in a relationship that just doesn’t quite meet our hearts desires. This season I suggest you get out and go see all the wonderful sights and sounds of Christmas. Go with friends in groups or just go alone and feel the Spirit of Christmas well up inside you as you reveal in the joy of being alive.

Christmas is not about what gifts you wanted but can’t afford, or about who you spend it with really ~  for some of us have been ostracized by our families. But Christmas is about Jesus ~ who came down from heaven to be with us in our lives, right where we are and to do what we could not do ~ to walk this life perfectly, so we could relax and live in the shadow of His grace in joy and love.


God basically handed a sweet life to us on platter and said ~ ENJOY!

Stay close to Him this year and you will never have regrets…..Life is all about Him and not about us anyway.

I for one plan on drawing near to Him and I know He is my true love after all is said and done, no date can fulfill all my hearts desires like my Beloved Jesus can.

Merry Christmas!

The unknown date

Dick Dastardly

Hi everyone!

I know it’s been a while since I have posted anything and I am sorry, but if you are like me, you barely noticed cause of all the other stuff that keeps your time consumed. Siooooooo…..

Here I am !

This time I want to speak bluntly about ~ Mr. Dick Dastardly ~ we shall call him.

I met this man on online dating, of course, and well, quite frankly it was going great. Just being pen pals at this time, we were getting along just fine. He texted me and emailed me regularly…..a bit more than the average man, but, not too much to exasperate me, I am sure you know the type…they blow up your phone and keep you thinking they must be needy, 10 texts a day from a person you barely know is ridiculous!

He was a “war re-enact or” and well, though that is peculiar in my circles, it’s ok with me. It’s a man who likes to play dress-up and has a dramatic flare ~ so far so good.

I went through a very hard family crisis and he was there for me, gentle, loving, giving me great advice and all a friend could ask for, seriously he was great.

Then suddenly – out of know where – on one night’s text, after previously talking about guns and tanks….here comes mister nasty!

He sends me a text ~ yep you got it ~ of Mr. pee pee. A full blown pic of his private parts, erect too.

And then comes 2 more…right after that! WOW!

Not that I mind men with large….hmmm.hmmmm….but seriously….on a text?

And to top it off, my good friend Mr. BMW answered the text for me while I was making cookies for a group I had over to my house. I wish you could have seen his face ~ priceless ~ mouth dropped open and a sort of disgusting scowl coming over his upper brow. I thought he would either laugh himself silly or throw up, the jury is still out.

SO: here is the lesson…..guys and gals…..don’t sex text your private anything to anyone!

#1. It’s just bad manners and nasty.

2. It makes you look like a sex crazed pervert, not dating material

3. Though women do care what kind of package you may be carrying, we do not want to see it until the appropriate time, preferably on our wedding night.

4. Just in case you did not know this, once on the internet, always on the internet.

5. This man, whom I backed up verbally and bluntly, is NOW mortified and embarrassed and has lost his chance with me, if he ever had one.

6. Women really are looking for their “Prince Charming” and no where in Disney’s fairytales does Prince Charming “flash” people with his private parts.

Here’s the moral of the story guys and gals….

If you someday want to use that private part in your pants ~ leave it in your pants until your partner wants to see it!

Mr. Dick Dastardly:

“You have been weighed~ you have been measured and you have been found wanting.”

A Knight’s Tale


the unknown date

Don’t Get Discouraged!

Have you ever had a date that you thought went pretty well. Ok, Not perfect, but well enough to think that they may ask you out again at some point, never to hear from them again?

Yep, I know you have.

It seems we have lost the art of politeness and etiquette in our society.

Ok, he wasn’t that great and actually had been in a car wreck at age 17 and had disfigured his face and ear. I know it was hard to get over that one. So I went to lunch with him at one of my favorite pizza places. We met there.

I was dressed in a really cute bright orange skirt and a bright yellow top. By all standards I was looking great!

He came in blue jeans and a t-shirt. Ok, that would have been fine, cause it was a lunch date, but he also looked like he had not shaved in 5 days and he wasn’t growing a beard for he also had a go tee. Ugggh!

You know if a man doesn’t even try on a first date it will only get more sloppy later. Everyone, who really cares, at least showers and shaves for a first date. First impressions still do matter after all.

So we have a polite and fun lunch, not really hitting it off and not having a bad time either.

But then, after he says I will call you later tonight, and after he has already called you almost every day for weeks, he is a no show!

Yep, I never heard from him again.


Yes, maybe it matters that I didn’t really find him my type, but I think I faked it enough to be polite and to warrant another call. Even if it was to say no thank you sugar…

The funny thing is ,I was talking to my other friend about how to let him down easily cause I just knew he would call and how he was really in to me.

So what happened?

Hmmm? Perhaps he was upset when he went to kiss me, on a first date, and I turned my cheek to him ~ Possible but not probable.

Maybe it was the funny but rude comment I made about investing in stocks, something I like to do, when I said:

“If you can’t run with the big dogs – stay on the porch!” LOL!

Probably not, for he laughed.

Or maybe he was upset when I said I didn’t really like all the prostitutes, and crime, etc that casinos brought to a town when they came. Following a previous conversation about his love of in-room jacuzzis while he stayed there and how much fun sex in the tub was. HA!

Or maybe I talked too much about my faith ~ always a popular man chaser away if he is just after sex ~ Funny too.

BUT ~ I choose to tell myself this: “THANK GOD!

I have been praying God would just chase away all the perpetrators and false men who pursue me and well, I think this one went running. Or maybe he just saw that I was such a great catch that he was WAY out of his league.

Yes, those last two sound good to me and actually logical, according to my good friends who continually encourage me in this new life of dating again after a long term marriage breakup.

Having said all that ~ DON’T BEAT YOURSELVES UP PEEPS!

Most people are rude and self interested. Most people think more of their own interests than those around them. When picking a mate look for the fruit and character more than the outward appearances,even though good looks don’t hurt ~ giggle.

“The fruit of the Spirit is: Faithfulness, goodness, joy, peace, love, long-suffering, faith, patience, kindness, and the like, against such there is no law.” Gal 5:23

Theres no accounting for good taste, politeness and good manners. Wait for the best catch!

Also; be the best person you can be with good etiquette if you want a good person to want you.


the unknown date