Are there any wholesome sweet girls out there anymore?

IMG_5778Sooooooo…..I have a lot and I mean a LOT of male friends and we talk all the time about different things and we got together to discuss dating the other night. I was so surprised at the comments they made.

So, I thought I would blog about it.

1. They all say ~ girls now-a-days do not like you to be a gentleman , they actually give them weird looks if they call a girl to ask her out, or just stand up for her at the table, etc. They would love to be polite gentlemen, but women don’t like it anymore.

2. They say the only way they have ever gotten a girl to go out with them is to go in groups and just say something like: “Hey, wanna hang out sometime?”

3. The girls they meet are so jaded and bitter, they feel like they have lost the possibility of being in a true honest relationship with someone before they even start.

4. Girls who smoke are a HUGE turn off ~ kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray. YUK!

5. They are all longing for a real Christian wholesome woman, who takes care of herself, not a model, but clean and sweet. Looks are just a perk, for they really want someone who is kind and intelligent. Not so smart she is a know-it-all but someone you may enjoy discussing all sorts of topics with.

6. They are so tired of women acting like they like them then dropping off the face of the earth. No communication and no breaking up. (Just plain chicken and rudeness)

7. They would prefer women to be politely blunt, and just tell them when they approach her and she isn’t interested, something like: “Thank you so much for being interested in me ~ but honestly I am just not that attracted to you in that way….” Be nice but tell the truth. No man likes a liar or a cheat.

8. They even said they can handle a girl with some baggage, not a psycho, but they are willing to help her heal from all the pain of past relationships and love her through it all. (WOW! These are great men)

There are so many men who are what I would call; “Diamonds in the rough.” But who are looking for just a sweet Christian girl. Clean and neat, sweet and nice, pretty and decent. These men are not models from magazines, but they have a fire in them that is wanting to find a real sweet woman they can throw their heart’s into and love forever and ever. They are not ugly and perhaps somewhat a little over weight, but not all are. Some are actually buff. They come from all walks of economic stratus and are truly good faithful men. Christian brothers who are looking for true love and faithfulness.

What does this say about all the women out there looking for love?

Are we too picky? Too Biter? Too scared?

Do we even know a nice romantic polite man when we see one?

Are we so abused and neglected that we can’t even receive love from a nice man anymore?

These men will not grope you on the first date and may actually take a long time to get to know you, cause they are serious about commitment when they find the right girl.

Start being kind and polite and take time to see the man probably sitting right next to you on the church pew. Hoping you will notice him. He is not a wolf and he will not bait you for his own selfish behaviorial  exercises (SEX). These men are genuine and will make some woman the light of their lives.

Just a thought…..

The unknown date

Verbally Abusive Relationships!

I want to take a minute and be serious tonight. I talked with a new friend today who has been in a relationship for 10 years, partly married and partly not. She has kids with this man and he is obviously an abusive man, not physically but mentally and verbally. Which all experts say is worse and more long lasting.

I had a relationship like this in my life and it nearly killed me. It wasn’t until I was left and alone for over a month that I realized; ‘WOW! This is nice not having anyone yell at me for over a month, I feel like I can breathe again.’

Let me tell you, if any of you are living with people in your lives that are into power struggles, turn around and walk away. Don’t look back, just keep on going!

Here’s a short definition of what I am talking about and a few examples.

Two people who are in love and care for each other have what I call a “Mutual” relationship, where each person is valued and appreciated for who they are and for their opinions, even if the two disagree, there is a calm manner in which to declare disagreement and they work out solutions together, peacefully.

A power struggling relationship is not about two people together working out life’s problems as a couple. It is about who wins the fight. It doesn’t even matter if the subject being discussed is true or a fact, a power struggling person will always put the other person down to win the upper hand, NO MATTER WHAT!

This mentally and verbally abusive person will not be satisfied until their partner is in tears or depressed, and then they relent and feel big cause they have WON, in their minds. Often they become docile and even sweetly apologetic the next day ~ and you are left feeling like it is all your fault and feeling numb.

You CANNOT negotiate peace with a person like this, for it is not about mutuality or feelings at all, it’s not even about the truth. It is about winning at all cost. And most of the time the cost is the destroying of the people they are the most close to, their family and friends, especially their mates.

Here’s another example:

I went to counseling with my husband, at that time, for over 9 months and most of that time was spent arguing in front of the counselor about how I could not match his socks. It cost us $150.00 a session and we discussed socks. (Ugggh!) The counselor even took his side saying that if this was important to him then it was an important relationship issue.

AAAAAHHHHH!!!

I was so stupid. I did not realize that this was about stalling and blame-shifting the fault onto me and to get us to talk about menial things to avoid the real issues.

PORN addiction and abuse!

I thought I was being the bigger sweet person by not bringing up his personal business and allowing him to share that when he was ready.

WAS I WRONG!

Secret sins and issues only get better when exposed ~ not keeping them hidden. I now know after years of dealing with this man, that I did exactly the wrong thing. I kept his secret. It finally destroyed us and our kids. We will never be the same again.

BUT GOD! Is my help and my strength!

I blog tonight to help anyone stuck in this whirlwind of unknowing what in the heck is going on! You are not alone and do not put up with verbal or mental abuse. 

I am here for you, just ask.

Hugs from the unknown dater

Worst Blind Date Ever!

I visited tonight at my dance club, which is every Thursday night, with a fellow girl friend and we were talking about my blog and boy was she funny. She told me of the worst blind date ever.

She said it was a wonderful date at first, he was a doctor, he wore a suit and took her to a really nice steak house, The Chateau. They had a polite dinner and she said he wasn’t the handsomest man she had ever seen but he was nice.

Then ~ here’s the funny part ~ after dinner he reached over romantically toward her ear and plucked out one of her hairs ~ yep ~ wait ~ then he proceeded to floss his teeth with it, right at the table in this fancy restaurant.

LMBO! ~ So funny!

I said, what did you do?

She replied; I suddenly developed a very bad headache.

LOL……

What was you’re worst date?

Comments please…..

The unknown date

Home Sweet Home

Home sweet home. After a long flight back from Milwaukee and a wonderful time spent New Years Eve with my Yankee friend – I am at last home for a bit of a rest. I am greeted with opened arms and a smile by Mr. BMW and he so graciously carried my luggage home for me and then we went out for some ribs. Whenever I need a friend, Mr. BMW is always there for a few laughs and a caring loving hug.

A SHOUT OUT TO MR.BMW!

My doggies were fuzzy and cuddly and well taken care of and I have missed my own bed.

Even though I had a great time being a southern belle in a yankee’s town. Every person I met was so nice and so considerate. I fell in lovey with all the people and all the lovely fir trees, covered with bright white clean snow.

I didn’t’ get to eat brats or play in the snow or make snow cream with my Yankee but I was treated royally and romantically in such a sweet kind manner, anyone would have loved to visit this area and to have met these people.

I have another date this weekend for the movies with Mr. CEO – more updates later.

Remember: “if you are nice to people they will respond in like kind. Most of the time.”

Be blessed by,
The unknown date

101 Carnations …..

Hi,
I am writing my very first Internet dating blog & it is going to be one funny blog, according to my friend frenchy – who believes my dating career takes the cake.

Since I plan to remain anonymous, for obvious reasons, you can just call me, the unknown date. A topic to which I know many of you can relate – hahahaha!

I have been Internet dating since 2010 and let me tell you I have had more crazy experiences than any one person should be allowed to have.

I will tell you all about them and I plan to let you ride this roller coaster ride right along with me – for your enjoyable learning experiences and for just plain fun. I tell you one thing is for certain, life around me is never boring and most of the time it is so outlandish that no one in their right mind would believe the things that happen to me. I have had quite a few people tell me I need my own reality show! Ha!

Well we’ll see…..

More to come…new friends….
The unknown date